I can’t make this stuff up…

A burglar who broke into a home just east of Fresno rubbed food seasoning over the body of one of two men as they slept in their rooms and then used an 8-inch sausage to whack the other man on the face and head before running out of the house, Fresno County sheriff’s deputies said Saturday.

More specifically, Pappy’s Seasoning was used.

…the piece of sausage used in the attack was discarded by the suspect and eaten by a dog.

Well, there goes the evidence.

Thanks to Steve and Scott for the link.