I was just forwarded this email from a friend at Intel, and I found it pretty amusing (it’s nerdy… normal people beware :-))

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources.

In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0 , Hunting and Fishing 7.5 , and Golfing 3.6.

I can’t seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I’m thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0 , but the uninstall doesn’t work on Wife 1.0 . Please help!

Troubled User…..

REPLY:

Dear Troubled User:

This is a very common problem that men complain about.

Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0 . It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed.

You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony/Child Support . I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application “Yes Dear” to alleviate software augmentation.

The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE! because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance . Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0 , Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2 .

However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5 . Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0 !

WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3 . This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system!

Best of luck,

Tech Support

I always love stories involving space junk. Here’s an incident from earlier today about a Russian satellite falling out of orbit and almost hitting a jetliner… never fear, the satellite was scheduled to fall out of orbit and burn up in the atmosphere, the Russians just got the time wrong (which affected where the satellite fell).

Read the full story here

Here’s a link to RFC 3092 that explains the history of “foo”, “bar”, “baz”, etc.

For those outside the tech community:

RFC = Request For Comment

“foo”, “bar”, etc are used to quickly name things in a piece of software (usually when the name is not important, like when writing a quick piece of test code).

A recent article by the Wharton group takes a look at employee perks (specifically at Google) and how effective they are. One of the most interesting points I found was the classification of employees as Integrators or Segmentors. From the article:

Perks like Google’s appeal to integrators, people for whom work life and home life have little distinction. These are the employees who like to plug into the wi-fi system on Google’s commuter bus and do work as they ride to and from the office; who check office e-mail frequently at home on nights and weekends; and who like child-care facilities at or near their office so that they can bring a part of home with them to work.

Segmentors, by contrast, like to maintain distinct walls between work and home. These are people made uncomfortable by a workplace filled with perks related to one’s personal life. Even employees with children can dislike the fact that their employer provides on-site childcare.

I also found this interesting:

In her research, Rothbard documented how segmentors in an integrationist workplace enjoyed less job satisfaction and had a lower commitment to their companies than their integrator co-workers. What was noteworthy, too, was that segmentors may not know the reasons they are dissatisfied at work. “It’s a subtle effect, where they know they just don’t fit in but may not know why,” Rothbard says.

I tend to be a segmentor… I enjoy my private life separate from work. This could explain why I never quite felt at home working at Intel, which is highly “integrationist”…

Read the full article here

Here are some links to 3 great articles by Mark Russinovich about new features in the Windows Vista kernel (Ntoskrnl.exe).

Inside the Windows Vista Kernel: Part 1

Inside the Windows Vista Kernel: Part 2

Inside the Windows Vista Kernel: Part 3